BENNIE

2/23/2023

Looooong time no see. I've missed writing and the normalcy it brings.

I spent the past month in Costa Rica with my cousin Turiya watching every sunrise and sunset, bathing in salt water tide pools, and dancing through villas set atop mountains overlooking the city. It's been so crazy and so so fun, and there's so much to get into that I'll have to write a whole other blog about it all at some point. I'll circle back to that one down the line though, because there is no other word to explain how I feel aside from "giddy" to finally tell the story of what the first week of February entailed.

When I bought my flight for January 3rd, I didn't realize how ideal it was for this trip to fall during the first month of 2023, and how much it would shape what the rest of the year would look like for me. I had so much time to figure out what my priorities and goals were, and how I planned to accomplish them within the next 12 months. It gave me the opportunity to pray about these things and create a plan without being so intertwined in it all. I felt like I could think straight for the first time in so long. I love my job and I love my life and all the sweet distractions I have back home, but having that separation from it all was really good for me. I gained so much from that time on top of all of the already incredible memories and experiences I got to live through.

Life moves slower in Costa Rica. Deadlines are suggestions and time is just a proposal. I've never felt that way anywhere else. I spent a lot of time reading and praying and resting and it was so refreshing. I finished two books that I had been reading through and spent a lot of time figuring out a game plan for when I got back.

If you've ever met me in real life, I've probably mentioned to you how I plan to do van life at some point. I've made countless Pinterest boards of what my future van would look like, planned out hundreds of road trips, watched video after video of "Van life tips", everything you can imagine in preparation for the one plan in my life that I've never once doubted since I first decided on it when I was 14 years old- travelling the country and living out of my van.

It's gone through years of revising. At first it was a school bus- my older cousin River had one that he built out into a home and traveled across the country with. After I got my license, I spent months trying to convince my friends we should all go in on one together. (Shockingly enough, they weren't down)

Then it turned into a tow behind camping trailer- I thought it might be nice to have a bathroom and a professional build. I even made my dad take me to RV world at one point to stake out sizing and layout.

But since the start, the heart of it all was to be travelling the country in a VW bus. Classic. As I got older and the plan actually became a possibility, I decided to be more realistic about things. VW busses are expensive. They're hard to find, and if you do find one, you're bound to be spending thousands on rebuilding the engine. It got to the point where that was an aspect of the dream that I had let go of. Van life was still my goal, but if I was being practical, I had to come to terms with the fact that it would almost certainly end up taking place within the walls of some grey printed RV with a "Jayco" logo stamped on the side. Still- so exciting, but a little less charming.

I knew that finding and purchasing that RV was one of my main goals for 2023, and my time away just solidified that. I fell even more in love with travel, and felt even more confident that this was supposed to be the year that I followed through. When I bought the tickets for my flight halfway through last year, I mapped out a plan to begin looking for one when I got home in February, and ideally, have purchased one by April. I knew it would be a long process to find a camping trailer in good condition that checked every box on my list, so I figured it would take at least a few months.

During the last week of my trip, I started looking online in the chance that if I found one I liked, it might still be available when I got back. I searched "Camping trailer" on Facebook marketplace at least twice a day to ensure I didn't miss any listings. It was a process I'd been through before, and at this point, I know all the questions to ask and all the answers I'm looking for to decide whether it would be a good fit or not.

There were a few options that I liked a lot, but as the days went on, and my trip grew closer and closer to an end, the listings began disappearing from the site. A few days before I was set to arrive home, my dad texted me a photo of a bright orange VW bus that he had seen driving down the street with the words "FOR SALE" written along the side. "So beautiful, but engine is probably screwed" I replied. A few minutes later he followed up with a text saying "new engine" and some photos of the inside. It was a 1972 Westfalia with a tan interior and shag carpet lining the floor. We went back and forth a few times and I was already in love with it. I'd been saving up for this for years and was ready to buy it on the spot. I tried to convince him to take the money out of my account and buy it right then and there. I was so sure it was supposed to be mine. What a coincidence that he would just so happen to drive past a perfect VW bus for a crazy good price, in my favorite color, with a brand new engine, right as I had begun my search for my future home for travel? He told me he didn't feel comfortable purchasing it until I was home to see it for myself. I was positive that by the time I got back, it would be sold, especially with the way it was being advertised. I prayed every day leading up to my return home that if this van was supposed to be mine, that it would still be available when I arrived, and that if it was bound to end up a money pit, that it would be sold before I even got the chance to look at it (With special emphasis on "I pray that it will still be available when I get home" because of course, we all know that was the outcome I was really hoping for.)

I got back on the 31st of January at 11pm and scheduled to go check it out at noon the next day. Again, this is another instance where the word "giddy" is truly the only one that will suffice. I was giddy. Like a kid on Christmas eve.

The next day, we headed to the shop to see it and I just knew it was supposed to happen. It was perfect (and by perfect I mean really dirty with torn up seats and brakes that hardly work and a speedometer that isn't even close to accurate). But I loved it. The bright orange paint looked fresh and the old man selling it was kind. We asked to take it for a test drive, and right as he agreed, a dog came running out of the shop garage. "His names Bennie... after Bennie and the Jets" said the old man. My mom looked at me and said "That's a pretty good sign"

Growing up, my parents always told me the story of the night my mom knew she wanted to marry my dad. They had been dating for a little while and she was following behind him on the way to a party.

He was blasting "Bennie and the Jets" from the speakers of his top off, 1993 forest green jeep. My mom always said she knew he was cool because "That's so cringe! Anyone who is confident enough to blast Bennie and the Jets like that and not care about how they are being perceived is cool". I've heard that story over and over throughout my growing up. "Bennie and the Jets" is quite literally part of the reason why I am here today. It's a staple for our family.

As if I wasn't already sure enough about this decision, that little beagle mix named Bennie confirmed it even more. I stepped into the passenger seat for the test drive and Bennie hopped on my lap and stuck his head out the window for the trip around the block.

We went to the bank to withdraw cash and headed back to the shop to sign the title over. We paid him, and as we started to walk out, "Bennie and the Jets" began playing on the old radio set up in the garage. It was meant to be. The biggest plan that I had for myself this year was to begin the process

of building out whatever RV/Bus/Trailer/Van that I ended up getting to be fit for full time

travel, and my very first day home I began the first step in that process. I cried on the way home, and I've cried basically every day since. I can't wrap my head around it. I've dreamed of this day since I was 14 years old, and it's here and it's perfect.

This doesn't even skim the surface of what this month has brought in just the first 9 days. I can't even begin to get into it all... But I will say, that my "Love Letters Mailbox" project was the other main area that I wanted to give attention to this year, and on the same day that I got my bus, aka my first full day back home, I got amazing news regarding it. You will definitely hear about that within the next few days, and I'll definitely never shut up about it after that. It's overwhelming in the best way. If the rest of the year is anything like the first 40 days have been, I can't wait for it.